True Confessions

I've got a confession to make:  I cheat at Sodoku.  Yup...it's true.  I got to a point about a year ago where I was tired of struggling with the puzzle in the newspaper every Sunday morning, and I decided to fill in a few spots from the answer key (crossways down, left to right).  It was amazing.  Instead of feeling defeated, I had the thrill of accomplishment when I was able to finish the puzzle.  And you would think that something would be lost because I cheated, but I quickly realized that the thrill of completing the puzzle - even if I had to cheat to do it - far outweighed any negative mental chatter that might creep in.  The thrill of victory was WAY better than the agony of defeat, and it didn't matter to me that I had a little assistance. 

So, I'll ask you, "Is there a place in your life that you make more difficult simply because you have some arbitrary rule that you must follow ?"  I encourage you to be on the lookout for opportunities to cut yourself some slack - situations that won't matter or impact anyone else whatsoever.  It's so worth it.

Last week, I was driving to a client's house in Winchester (MA), and I saw two houses with hearts like these on trees in their front yard.  On my way back, I drove past The Epiphany Parish and had to stop and take a photo.  It was just the coolest thing.  A Google search filled me in on the details. 

The Epiphany hearts were started several years ago by a Winchester woman whose friend was undergoing chemo and radiation treatments.  She surprised her friend by making the hearts and draping them on her tree in the dead of night so when her friend woke she would find them. She left an anonymous note saying "you’ve been hearted," that she was loved and people were thinking of her. The friend was so touched that she did the same for friends of hers, and the idea took off. Epiphany Parish started offering the hearts soon after. Women came together and cut, sewed and assembled kits. Each February Epiphany’s tree is graced with hundreds of hearts, and hearts appear on trees throughout Winchester and surrounding communities.

I can't even begin to describe how moved I was when I saw these trees, even before I knew their story.   So, even though I can't find a way to tie this story to money or financial success in any way, I still wanted to write about it.  Sometimes, things just have an impact and must be shared...

Hope you have a Valentines Day filled with as much love as these hearts intend to send...j

Budget - Your Roadmap to Success

01/10/2012 - Happy New Year !   Another year ... another new start.  Yaay...

The new year really is one of the best times for budgeting.  We are naturally taking stock of where we are and where we'd like to go in the coming year.   

I was thumbing through a budgeting book recently and was struck by the persistent negativity of it.  The author made the assumption that the reader was struggling and wanted to learn to budget only as a means to get themselves back on track.  He was relentless with his suggestions that the reader needed to restrict their spending and was full of ideas for doing so. I didn't see any positive messages in the book or suggestions that wealthy, successful people are in fact successful because they budget, nor was the idea presented that budgeting is about learning to manage our cash flow and spend wisely, no matter how much money we have available to us.

I guess it's not surprising then that people have such a negative attitude toward budgeting.  They're told over and over again that only poor people have to do it; that planning how they are going to spend their money is only something they have to do when they're in financial distress.  That's just crazy; any project needs focused attention to be successful, and that's all budgeting is. 

If budgeting is something you're reluctant to do, I invite you to consider looking at it from a new perspective.  It's intent is not to limit your enjoyment of life, but to give you an opportunity to decide consciously how you're going to use the financial resources available to you.  If you don't know where to begin and would like some support in learning to budget, reach out;  I'd love to help.

May your 2012 is filled with lots of love, happiness and prosperity.

Making Joy A Goal

I just read something seemingly so ridiculous in Oprah Magazine that I had to comment on it.  In the "Feeling Good" section, it says, "Making joy a goal may not be a good idea.  According to a study in the journal Emotion, women who place a high premium on happiness tend to be more depressed, perhaps because they feel disappointed with their failure to meet their high standards."  Seriously ???  This is so classicly female and a perfect example of women being so hard on themselves.  Happiness is not a goal.  It's a moving target; something that changes from day-to-day, moment-to-moment.  The true goal is to bring more things into your life that you enjoy.  For me, it's definitely the beach, and I was thrilled to spend some time there over this past Thanksgiving weekend.  Walking on the beach in Boston in November ???  Now that's something to feel good about.  Happy Holidays, jayn

Lake Winnipesaukee

Lake Winnipesaukee, November 5, 2011

I had the pleasure of spending last weekend at Lake Winnipesaukee at a Magic Parties Retreat (www.TheMagicParties.com).   Although it's only a couple of hours away and a place that I'd heard of all of my life, I'd never been there.  What a beautiful spot for an extraordinary Retreat.  There's something so important about getting away - not for vacation - but to pause and look at your life from a different perspective.  Although I didn't have any earth-shattering epiphanies, the weekend impacted me greatly and will influence my plans for next year.   If you're interested, check out their website and keep an eye on their calendar of events...

As I reflect back on the weekend, the topic of money came up more than once over the two days.  An example that stands out was the woman whose career is taking off  and was concerned about making more money than her husband.  She was worried about bruising his ego because he wasn't making a lot of money.  (Turns out he was starting a new business and it was still in the start-up, aka, "no income" phase.)  It was hard for her to talk about it, and I could see that it was a big deal for her.  This is such a great demonstration of what we refer to as "Monkey Mind," that negative, self-limiting voice that stops us dead in our tracks when we're on our way toward something great.  I asked her if she'd ever talked with him about it and she said that she hadn't.  She emailed me after the weekend and told me that  when she got home, she'd initiated the conversation with her husband and he wasn't concerned in the least about her being successful.  Problem solved - quite easily actually.  And I suspect that the discussion was broader than what she shared and brought them one tiny step closer together.  (yaay)

But what is most interesting to me about this example is that she felt that way at all.  A man would NEVER be concerned about earning more money than his wife.  It demonstrates so well how ingrained these things can be.  Year after year of societal messages saying that men make more money than women.  It's truly profound.  This is no wall-flower.  This is a powerful, dynamic, extraordinary woman.  And I absolutely am not judging her.  It's more that my experience of her is that she is extremely confident and headed toward great success, and I never would have thought that she felt that way.  I was honored to be present and able to help her make that shift.  Like I said, it was an extraordinary weekend. 

I'll end with wishing you a Thanksgiving filled with much love and happiness, good food and good company.  Enjoy, jayn

Protect Your Identity on 1099s

Hello all.  I've had a couple conversations recently about identity theft, and thought I'd offer a simple tip to help protect small business owners (sole proprietors).  This would be someone who conducts their business either in their own name or has filed a dba (doing business as) certificate, not someone who has an incorporated business. 

The problem has to do with 1099s.  I recently asked a woman who is performing a service for my business for her tax identification number for 1099 purposes.  (For those who don't know, if you are operating a business and pay an individual (not an incorporated business) more than $600 in a calendar year for service - not the purchase of a product where you pay sales tax, but service - you are required by the IRS to file a 1099 before January 31 of the following year stating the amount of money that you paid them.)  When the woman doing the work for me gave me her social security number (SS#), I got this uneasy feeling.  It's such a huge responsibility for me to protect that information and so easy for her to avoid sharing it with me.  When I suggested to my service provider that she might consider using a tax ID number for her business, her response was, "my accountant says I don't need one because of the way I file my taxes."  This is absolutely true, it's not necessary for tax purposes, but it is a valuable tool in the battle to protect your identity. 

If neither you nor the service provider has a tax identification number, both of your SS#s must be used on the 1099 that is filed with the IRS.  This means that you have each given someone you may hardly know the most important number in your life.  Not only that, you have no idea who might have access to the copies of that form that are kept on file.  (Anyone from the cleaning staff to clerical staff to someone's family member rummaging through a home office would have your name, SS# and address.)

This problem is so easily solved by obtaining a tax identification number from the IRS website.  The IRS refers to it as an Employer Identification Number or (EIN).  You can obtain one by clicking on this link, clicking on the "Begin Application" button and following the instructions.     https://sa2.www4.irs.gov/modiein/individual/index.jsp  
Note that an EIN does not trigger any additional mail from the IRS.  You don't have to have employees and you are not required to file any special tax forms as a result of obtaining the number. 

This is such an easy way to avoid sharing your SS# with those your do business with.  If you have any questions or need assistance completing the form on the IRS website, don't hesitate to call or email me.  (Jayn@Jaynyk.com   781-665-0895)...I'm happy to help. 

Gino Cappelletti

I had the great fortune of playing golf last week with my neighbor Maureen and a couple of her employees. It was one of those tournaments where it was mostly guys and Gino Cappelletti was the celebrity guest. He was planted on one of the par 3 holes and the goal was to get your ball inside of his to get into a 50/50 raffle. Now, I don't know Gino from Adam, (he was a running back for the New England Patriots) but I thought I'd share the photo anyway. It makes me smile because I was playing really well that day and had a blast. I made a perfect swing on this hole, but it was long and went over the green. (bummer...it looked like it was going right at the pin !). So, I guess my point is that even though I failed to "beat the pro," that isn't what stayed with me. I remember the thrill of seeing what I thought was a perfectly hit ball go at the pin. What a great feeling. The lesson is that we can choose to focus on what we failed to do or what we did well. In that case, I hit that ball well. The hole was just too short... Happy Golf Season - Hope you're having opportunities for success...j